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How to Eat My Pussy, in Her Words

The following was written by a FEMALE per my request, because there was no way in hell that I (as a male) could truly explain how best to eat those juicy love canals.  From here on out, everything written is in HER words

So, I’ve been asked to write about eating pussy. From a receiving point of view. This shouldn’t be hard. I love getting my pussy ate out. Most of the time, I prefer it over penetration. Reason being is because I love to orgasm and I don’t always orgasm off penetration. But oral? If the mouth is doing what it needs to be doing, then I will orgasm 99.999% of the time.

Eating pussy and eating pussy right can be summed up with just a few tips. Common sense is not always common so let me fill you in. By no means am I an expert or a spokesperson but I know what I like and I’m comfortable with stating how I like it. You may or may not relate - to each their own.

The first rule is a rule everyone should know by now. Don’t eat the pussy if you don’t want to eat the pussy. Nothing will turn a woman off more if she notices her partner is hesitant or not into it or even more importantly scared of or turned off by it. You are NOT doing me any favours by doing me a favour, feel me? I want you to WANT to eat my pussy. I want you to desire it, crave it, lust it. I want you to devour it. I want you to eat my pussy like you haven’t had a meal in 24 hours. The more into it I know you are, the more I can get into it.

Once we’ve established how bad you want the pussy you gotta be able to let your mouth guide you - with a lot of help from paying attention to my body movements, spasms and the sounds that escape my mouth.

When you see me arching my back, when you feel me trying to move away from you, gasping, moaning or tensing up you know you are doing something right. If you’re good at what you do, you will notice these things naturally and still be able to keep your head game in check. Some of you concentrate too much on what I’m doing and not enough on what you’re doing. The trick here is to find balance. Sexual compatibility is natural and when you find THAT balance with someone, embrace it. For those that don’t have it, especially new couples, you’ll find it eventually. Just have FUN with it. Sex should be lovely, nasty, wild, romantic, comforting, adventurous and fun.

Some of you may need some assistance and that’s fine. If a girl likes being fingered while you go down on her, do it. Third rule of great pussy eating is to not be afraid to ask questions or be given directions. A woman that is comfortable with her body and knows what she likes will not be afraid to tell you where to lick, how fast to lick, how slow to lick, to suck, finger or tongue fuck, or whatever. She knows what she likes and if you aren’t doing it right she’ll tell you; NOT to embarrass you but to educate you. Don’t take offense at this. Take advantage of it. Anyway, as I was saying, put a finger or two in there and then hook that finger upwards. Do you feel a lil “hard bump”? That’s our g-spot. Rub on it. While you are rubbing it, pay special attention to her clitoris and lick and suck it gently but with consistent speed. I guarantee you within minutes, maybe even seconds; you will have her squirting or trying to run from you. Don’t let her. Take your other hand and hold her down by her stomach. You will feel all kinds of tension and squirming and this means you are on your way to getting what you want.

Oh, and please, if a woman squirts don’t be grossed out by it. It’s just female ejaculate, not battery acid. It won’t kill you. Health experts can’t say exactly what it is but it’s not urine. That much they know.  Take comfort in the fact your woman squirted. All women have the ability but not all women can do it. For those that can and for those that can make us, I salute you.

Fourth rule: be nasty. We all like to make love. We all like to feel like we’re having intercourse in an open field of daisies and daffodils with cuddling and intertwined limbs and all that care bear shit but … sometimes we just want to fuck. We just want to get nasty and throw down. If a girl wants it like that - give it to her. If she wants sloppy head complete with spit, spit on it. If she wants you to lick her from her perineum (don’t know what that is? slap yourself and then look it up on dictionary.com) to her navel, DO it. If she wants you to put both her pussy lips in your mouth and suck on them, DO IT! If she wants to fling her legs behind her head, spread her pussy apart, taste herself by having you come up every couple minutes to kiss her, DO IT! I don’t consider the aforementioned nasty or freaky but that’s because not much is off limits to me. Some women are shy or not vocal enough to say these things and that’s fine. It can be your job to bring out her inner freak. Even the most conservative of women find it hard to lay still or be quiet when her pussy is being eaten by the most greatest of pussy eaters. All I can say is paying attention to her will get you a lot of points and save you a lot of time. Your jaw will thank you.

Are you starting to see how important paying attention is!?

I personally like dirty talk and moaning. Yes, when YOU are eating ME out I want to hear YOU moan. It’s just a turn on for me. I get turned on knowing my partner is turned on. But I can tell when it’s fake. I’d rather hear nothing then some fake shit. If it tastes good to you, tell me. If you like how wet I am, say it. If you are completely turned on because I’m turned on, moan it the fuck out! Not all women are like this and I understand that but the great thing about sex is that not every scenario is going to come out in conversations prior, so finding out about your partners sexual quirks in the heat of the moment are like an adventure. Finding out what they enjoy, and how weird it can be, is one of the greatest aspects of sex.

Last but not least, the fifth and final rule of eating pussy lays not on the partner but on the woman herself - be comfortable with your body! If you are worried about what you may smell or taste like, so will your partner. Do your own smell or taste test first so that you can get comfy and just lay back and enjoy it. If you worry about what your body looks like and are nervous about what they think of it, they will pick up on it and really you’re cheating yourself of what can be a great experience. They’ve found something sexy and attractive about you … a couple stretch marks, rolls, spots and bigger or smaller labia than normal and whatever else aren’t really going to turn them off. Trust me. Your tension (for reasons that aren’t due to their eating ability) can make or break a great oral experience - so RELAX! And for God’s sake …. make sure you’re waxed, shaved, nair’d … whatever the fuck. That should be a given but, hey, some ladies do need to be told

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